


Interrogation of Erwin Smith

by EllenD



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Coercion, Established Relationship, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Non-Con, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-20 15:12:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16558124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllenD/pseuds/EllenD
Summary: “Confess, Commander Smith. Confess by showing your sins to us all. Demonstrate to us the many perversions you’ve taken with your subordinates, and I will appeal to the king to show you mercy.”When Erwin is arrested for treason during the uprising arc, his enemies bring him and Levi in for interrogation. It's just an excuse to force the two most prominent members (and secret lovers) of the Survey Corps to degrade themselves for their amusement.





	1. Interrogation

**Author's Note:**

> No copyright infringement intended. Please proceed carefully! Explicit content ahead.

The first thing they did was to order Nile, who had escorted him from his cell, to leave the room.

“Erwin Smith was an old friend of yours, was he not, Commander? Perhaps it’s best if you leave while we… _question_ him. This might be upsetting for you, having been close and all.” It was worded as a suggestion but spoken like a command, a whip-crack in the air, and Nile had left, sparing Erwin a worried glance over his shoulder before the door shut with an ominous echo.

The situation was bad enough, he had no delusions about that. They’d arrested him on false charges. They’d interrogated him, and then beaten him under the guise of interrogation, then beaten him for the fun of it. Then they’d left him in a cold cell with his injuries untreated for a day before bringing him here.

His lone arm was chained to shackles around his ankles. He knelt on the brightly colored tiles, wobbly from his fall. His entire body ached. They’d let him topple gracelessly, unbalanced, to the floor after a hard shove and watched contemptuously as he struggled upright. Facing him was group of nobles lounging on couches on a ringed dais, their mouths dripping with contemptuous smiles. They were dressed as plushly as their surroundings, four velveted, jewel-buttoned, glossy-leathered nobles in a room that was muffled with the finest wool curtains, that gleamed with veined marble. Erwin Smith, filthy and bleeding and amputated, was like a wild animal snatched up by a big game hunter and brought before them for their amusement.

Erwin recognized the rotund one, Aurille, who smiled perversely and licked his bottom lip. This was no formal cabinet meeting, no royal assembly. There was wine and liquor and fruit laid out on a nearby table. They were already flushed with drinking. He could smell their breath. There were two prostitutes – they were too gaudily dressed and too fawning to be anything but prostitutes – draped over them, one in yellow and one in pink. These men may have been part of the royal government, but they were not acting on royal authority. The curtains were drawn and the door was locked for a reason. 

Erwin knew it was going to be bad when they dismissed Nile, his only possible ally, leaving him alone with a ring of stone-faced MP’s, a circle of guns and four pairs of gleaming eyes aimed at him.

But Erwin’s heart didn’t sink to his boots, his blood freezing, until an inner chamber door opened and four guards came in dragging another prisoner. _Levi_.

Erwin didn’t dare to call out as they dumped Levi next to him, close enough to see and smell but not close enough to touch. The captain of the survey corps had his hands pinned punishingly tight behind his back, his wrist shackled to his leg irons. He was bedraggled and exhausted, his eyes glazed from a concussion. He was unarmed. His knuckles were bleeding and his arms, exposed through ripped shirtsleeves, were blotchy with bruises. Which meant he’d given as good as he’d got.

“This is your man, isn’t it?” intoned Aurille.

“In more ways than one,” muttered the adjacent nobleman with a leer.

Levi panted once, twice, then glanced sideways at Erwin through a bloodshot eye. “Erwin,” he rasped out a greeting. “Sorry I got caught.”

Erwin could offer no words of comfort. 

There was a breathless moment, the nobles leering down at them in silence, before they opened their mouths and started shouting. A barrage of accusations rained down on them. From a wine-sloppy, grinning mouths, Aurille and his cronies spat out a litany of ugly things, wagging thick fingers in their direction. The Survey Corps were murderers, traitors, anarchists, perverts. They embezzled taxpayer’s money and spent it on drink and prostitutes – _how ironic_. They plotted against the king. They assassinated those who spoke out against them. They murdered and cheated and stole and raped.

Erwin squared himself and declared in a loud voice the same thing he’d been repeating for days. The Survey Corps were innocent of plotting against the royal government. They did not commit the murder of Dimo Reeves. The Corps had only ever strived to protect humanity. He declared it to Aurille, to his slouching companions, to the ring of Military Police who were pinioning them with their guns and their gazes.

“I am the Commander for the Survey Corp,” said Erwin, after he refuted their accusations. “Even if the Corps has broken any law as a group, I am responsible and will answer to any charges on their behalf. There is no need for _him_ to be here.” He glanced at Levi, who was silently glaring ahead.

“But we have committed no infractions,” he said, staring around at their revolted faces, making sure they heard him. “You’re the ones who are violating civil law and human decency by holding us here.”

He could see Aurille sweating. His speech had only infuriated the nobleman.

Perfectly white and even teeth opened in a snarl and the noble went off again, spitting out wine-flecked saliva as he heaped a new tirade of accusations on them, each one growing more lurid as he got more frantic. The evil Survey Corps held orgies in the barracks. They forced new recruits to profane the sacred walls and to curse the names of Maria, Rose, and Sina. They practiced ritualistic human sacrifice. They snatched babies from their cribs to turn them into child soldiers.

His face turned red as blood. He got up and started pacing, swinging his velvet-cased sausage arms. One step brought him just a hair too close to Levi who, having been working his jaw the whole time, reared back and spat a mouthful of blood and saliva at him. The captain’s aim was good. The splat of gore hit Aurille right in the forehead, then trickled down like a wound.

One of the women shrieked, as if Levi had actually shot him.

Aurille let out a wordless sound of fury and aimed a kick at Levi’s head. Levi dodged it with ease, shifting his weight, fists cocked, body coiled to attack.

“Levi, don’t!” Erwin warned. Assaulting Aurille would have been a death sentence.

At his commander’s voice, Levi went limp. A stocky MP stepped up and clubbed him hard with the butt of a rifle. Levi grunted and flinched under the blow, but otherwise refused to budge. His mouth was bleeding.

“I think,” said one of the other nobles, flicking a finger at Erwin, “you’d get a better result by hurting the other one.”

In response, the MP strode three long steps to Erwin and struck him hard with the rifle. Pain exploded in Erwin’s unprotected right side, his ribs bearing the brunt of the attack. He exhaled forcefully, curling sideways. He absorbed the pain as best as he could; it was predictable, after all, for them to attack his weaker side, but it still hurt like hell.

“Erwin!” Levi’s strangled cry reached his ears. There was a scrabble of chains, then the sound of a booted foot kicking flesh. An animalistic growl.  “You bastards…”

Aurille, who had retaken his seat, laughed derisively. “No wonder you Survey bastards are such a corrupt, incompetent bunch. You recruit thugs and whores from the underground slums, and then you make them your pets. Isn’t that right, _Commander_? Was he your whore before you even brought him into the Corps? Is he your personal toy or do you and the other officers take turns with his scrawny ass?”

“Shut up,” Levi snarled from where he lay.

But Erwin’s blood had gone cold, like it had been replaced with river water. Aurille, blustering idiot though he was, had hit a shared nerve.

He and Levi, they’d been careful. Rumors would always fly, but they’d been so careful.

_Erwin passing Levi a sheaf of papers during a meeting, saying so casually, “Catalogue these and then we can discuss them in my office this evening.” Slick as oil._

Or maybe they hadn’t been as careful as they thought?

Did his fingers ever linger on Levi’s a bit too long in the passing of documents, of equipment? Did the recruits ever see them together in a way that was too intimate, too domestic?

_Erwin, shaving in front of the mirror with Levi in the same room. They were both dressed in their shirtsleeves, but should a Commander really have his subordinate present when he was grooming? Was the door open a crack? Had someone seen and… interpreted?_

_Levi, leaving the table early, one of the other officers jokingly drawling, “What’s the hurry? You got a hot date or something?” Levi snapping, “What’s it to you?” then stalking off with no further explanation. Did that invite… speculation?_

Had Levi been smiling just a tad too much when Erwin entered the room, hiding the curve of his mouth behind a teacup just a little too late?

Somehow, whether through rumor or solid evidence, the upper echelons had gotten wind of their relationship. And now they were using that tiny wedge of truth amidst a hodgepodge of lies to condemn them. They had found what Erwin tried so hard to hide: a weakness.

“Why are we here, Minister Aurille?” Erwin said lowly. He saw Aurille flinch slightly at the sound of his family name on Erwin’s tongue. “This isn’t a court of law. What do you want with us?”

Aurille blustered for a moment more, “You’re accused of the crime of high treason, Erwin Smith! You will be brought before the king, and make no mistake, you _will_ be condemned to hang. They’re building your gallows as we speak!”

His words went high, plinking off the painted ceiling, the crystal teardrops of the chandelier. And then dipped low, “But I’m a reasonable man. Merciful. I was generous enough to grant you and Captain Levi a private audience, for a chance to confess your crimes. If you own up to your misdeeds, then I can personally put in a word for you with the king. Maybe I can persuade him to show leniency.”

Aurille licked his lips. His mustache was greasy. He wasn’t just sweating, he was drooling as well. “Confess, Commander Smith. Confess by showing your sins to us all. _Demonstrate_ to us the many perversions you’ve taken with your subordinates, and I will appeal to the king to show you mercy.”

“… the hell?” Levi grunted under his breath.

Aurille pointed a thick finger at Erwin. “I want Levi to start by sucking him. Make him ready with your pretty mouth, little captain. Then Erwin is going to fuck you until you beg for mercy. If you put on a good show, we’ll let you go.”

Erwin’s cold, calculating brain had already understood the situation about five long-winded sentences ago. But his emotions, always slow to catch up, were writhing and roiling in the pit of his stomach like acid.

A raspy laugh came from Levi. Gracefully despite the chains, he unfolded himself and stood. The nearest MP’s took a nervous step back, a ripple in the crowd. Rifle muzzles that had drooped snapped up again.

“You’re all pathetic,” he said. “You pigs, with all your money and wine and whores…. And yet you fat, shriveled bastards are still so hard up that you need our ugly mugs to get your cocks wet?”

“Oh my!” twittered the woman in yellow. “Look how he’s glaring at us. Like he wants to kill us all.”

“He’s probably imagining we’re titans,” scoffed one of Aurille’s friends. “Bet he wants to cut us in half. If only looks could kill.”

“You’re partly right,” drawled Levi, pinning the noble with his death glare. “I would like nothing better than to slit that shitty fat-roll of yours and watch the guts and grease ooze out all over those fancy trousers. But the real reason I’m staring,” he let his gaze sweep the dais, “is because I’m remembering your faces. Such interesting faces…”

Several of them flinched. One even ducked his head.

Aurille went white with anger and made a violent motion with his hand. “Strip him!” he shouted, his voice cracking with hysteria.

Three MP’s jumped at Levi, who was ready for them. He ducked low and threw his shoulder into the first one’s solar plexus, then whipped himself sideways, scissoring his legs around another one’s neck. She choked and staggered, and he used the momentum to lurch forward and slam his forehead into the third one’s nose.

Aurille uttered a wordless cry of anger and signaled to someone outside of Erwin’s sight. Erwin reacted, angling his vulnerable side away, just as a booted foot stomped hard on his good arm, then lifted to kick at his ribs. He doubled over, gasping.

“Show Captain Levi what happens if he doesn’t cooperate!”

A hand yanked Erwin up by his hair. A knife was at his throat, already starting the slitting motion, drawing a line of blood.

Levi stilled his struggles, his breaths coming out harsh. “If you were going to kill us, you’d have done it already, you bastards.” The MP with her neck under his knee gurgled and scratched at him. He ignored her.

Aurille smiled a nasty smile. “Maybe I won’t have him killed. Maybe I’ll just have something cut off. His remaining arm, perhaps?” The MP grabbed Erwin’s arm and yanked brutally upwards, making him groan aloud, the joints and tendons straining. “Or maybe his testicles? His eyes? He doesn’t need to see when he goes before the king for judgement.” He shrugged his padded shoulders. “Of course, we could just kill him and then say he tried to escape. Such a shame we had to cut him down. Such a shame he never even made it to his own trial.”

Levi made a furious sound through his teeth. Slowly, he eased up and the woman rolled out from under him, gasping for breath. “Erwin,” he said in an undertone, soft but urgent. His dark eyes were darting around the room. “I can take out about five on the left before they stop me.”

Erwin swallowed and then shook his head sharply. “No.” His voice was hoarse, crackling. “They’ll shoot you full of bullets.”

“I’d rather be full of bullets than play their sick game!”

“You’d die. We’d both die.”

Levi glared at him venomously. “So what? You want me to… you want us to…. You actually mean….?”

“We can’t die yet, Levi!” said Erwin, suddenly shouting. “I can’t die. Neither can you. Not here. Not like this. Humanity still needs us to live.” _You need to live_.

Levi slumped forward, his gaze deadly. “Damn you…”

“What are you waiting for?” screeched Aurille. “Restrain him and continue!”

And they were on Levi again, kicking at his limbs mercilessly, stomping on unprotected hands and groin. They dug their fingers into his clothes and yanked, tearing them off his body violently, like they were trying to rip off his skin.

And Erwin was biting his lip until he bled, not allowing himself to cry out, _Don’t you lay a hand on him, don’t you dare_. No. He would give them nothing. Survival, and the success of his plan, his gamble, would be his revenge.

Levi moaned brokenly, his bruised bare legs kicking weakly as they ripped the last shreds of cloth from him, and Erwin bit down harder.

 


	2. Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copyright infringement intended! Please heed warnings for this chapter!

Erwin remembered the first time Levi had given him oral sex. Levi had been determined, glazed with arousal, and just a little bit nervous. It was in the deepest dead of night, the time when only animals prowled, the two of them in Erwin’s private quarters with no illumination except the weak milky moonlight, Levi in Erwin’s arms, head against his chest, but sliding lower, and lower.

 _You don’t have to do this for me,_ Erwin said just once, thinking he should have repeated it a few more times, but swallowing the words instead, his throat tight with anticipation.

 _I want to. This is how men pleasure other men, right? Let me._  

Then his own breathless moan, _Oh…. Levi…._

And now…

Now Levi was lying naked on his side, arms shackled helplessly behind him, knees curled up to hide his nakedness from the leering nobles and the glaring MP’s. He was shivering, despite the warmth of the room. Even the floor was heated, special pipes were built under the tiles, funneling heat to warm the nobles’ feet. They woke up each morning and had their toes warmed as they waddled to their hot water baths, while orphans scrabbled and scratched for frozen crusts outside.

Levi’s disarrayed hair was hiding his face, his expression concealed. Erwin’s own face was frozen in a death mask, forcefully calm. He refused to give them anything. Not his anguish. Not his rage.

“Get him ready,” said Aurille, with a greasy smile. He rubbed moist hands together. His breath was coming in heavy. “Come on, Captain Levi. Use your mouth to get him ready.” When Levi refused to move, Aurille, snapped his fingers and a bunch of MP’s, fresh ones that Levi hadn’t already bloodied, came forward and grabbed him.

The hauled him up to his knees, kicking him once, twice in the stomach so he grunted and doubled over, snatched at his hair and pulled back his head to reveal eyes blazing with hatred and gnashed teeth. They picked him up and hauled him, battering ram-style, towards Erwin. One of them grabbed his chin on either side and squeezed, popping his jaw forcefully so his mouth opened, revealing his moist pink tongue. Levi let out a sharp high-pitched keen, his eyes scrunching closed. The sound curdled Erwin’s blood.

“Wait!” he said. “Wait, please. Untie him, you have to untie him.”

“Shuddup!” snapped one of the MP’s, her words coming out slurred. Levi had broken her nose earlier, with both hands literally behind his back. “You think we’re stupid or sump’in?” The gun in her hands was shaking and she was panicky pale as she swayed her weapon from Levi to Erwin, then back again.

“Look at the state he’s in!” Erwin snapped at Aurille. “He can’t even sit up. He can’t… do what you want if you don’t release his hands.”

 “Not a chance,” said Aurille, slashing a hand dramatically through the air like he was making a decree.

“Then untie me,” said Erwin. Someone stepped behind him and grabbed the shoulders of his shirt, starting to rip it off him, jerking him to the side as buttons popped and fabric tore. He ignored it. “Let me loose. Let me hold him. Let me help him.”

Levi’s shoulder was looking dislocated. The MP holding his jaw was pushing his head backwards, constricting his windpipe, so that he was making staccato choking noises, like a wounded crow.

“Let me _help_ him. Please.” _Don’t shout. Don’t let them see that you’re gnashing on the inside. If they see how they’re breaking you, they win_.

Aurille took his time considering while Erwin’s shirt was ripped to shreds, savoring the moment. The MP had started on his trousers, manhandling him this way and that, when Aurille nodded magnanimously and said, “Alright. Just the wrist.”

Erwin exhaled when his wrist was uncuffed, the circulation rushing back painfully. He opened and closed his hand, stretching out the fingers.

“If you try to free him,” said Aurille, jerking his head towards Levi, “I’ll have his hands cut off. And maybe have one of our interior squad friends here him fuck him with a rifle, see how he likes that.”

“It’s probably more fun to see him get fucked by a rifle, with how slowly this is going,” said one of the other nobles, head lolling on hand, bored. “Does it always take you and your slut so long to get started, Commander?”

Levi was deposited in front of Erwin, his head smacking the floor when it was abruptly released. The MP trying to undress Erwin had backed off. They were left alone for the moment.

“Levi… are you alright?”

Levi’s answer was a cough. A head wound had reopened and it was dribbling blood down his hairline. He looked up at Erwin, dazed.

 “Suck his cock!”

“Do it, already! The Commander’s feeling lonely!”

“Better warm him up, before he gets cold!”

“Ram your cock down his throat!”

“Levi…” whispered Erwin. As gently as he could, he wrapped an arm around Levi’s shoulders and helped him into a half-sitting, half-kneeling position.

“Dammit, Erwin,” the captain said hoarsely, glaring through a gap in his blood-soaked fringe. “I’d rather die.”

“I know,” said Erwin. His voice almost broke. “I know. But I can’t allow that. I’m sorry.”

He touched Levi’s face, stroked a bruised hand through his hair. He drew Levi close to rest against his chest for a moment of respite. Then, feeling sick, started to push Levi downwards, lower and lower.

Sharp teeth grazed his bare abdomen, then bit down, as if Levi was trying to anchor himself to keep from being pulled down, desperately avoiding what was to come. Erwin made no sound. He let Levi brace himself for a stinging moment. Then reached down and unfastened his pants.

In spite of everything, he couldn’t help but feel a slow, quiet thrum of pleasure, of honest admiration at seeing his lover’s body: the smooth neck, the beautiful limbs, the lean hips and toned buttocks. He could spend hours skimming that lovely skin with his fingertips. But this was wrong. Levi should be spread out before him on cotton sheets, not sprawled broken-like on the floor strangers made lewd jibes about his mouth, the shape of his ass.

Shamefully aroused by Levi’s proximity, Erwin drew himself out of his trousers. He felt Levi’s breath on his cock and despite the wrongness of the situation, despite the gleaming eyes and drooling mouths around them, he felt himself sway to half-hardness.

“That’s right, suck him!”

“Choke on it, Humanity’s Strongest!”

“Don’t hide, pull up and let us see it all!”

Slowly, shakily, with Erwin’s hand under his chin to guide him, Levi took Erwin’s cock in his mouth. Erwin couldn’t hold back a short groan as he was engulfed by the heat, the wetness of his lover’s mouth. With a wet noise, he withdrew and pushed in again, Levi’s tongue wriggling against the underside of his shaft. He exhaled again, moaning softly, growing harder fuller as Levi sucked him, eyes curtained by dark bangs.

“Ha! Not so strong now, are you?”

“The famous Levi of the Scouts was nothing more than a cocksucking whore after all!”

“Fuck his throat, Commander! Show us your strength!”

Erwin grimaced, trying his best to block them out. Levi shifted, trying to ease the pressure on his stretched-back shoulders, his mouth never leaving Erwin’s cock, head moving back and forth in a steady, sucking rhythm. Erwin tried to help him along, supporting an arm, his bobbing head.

Erwin felt the tip of his penis reach Levi’s throat, the point of Levi’s nose just brushing his blond nest of pubic hair, and he moaned deep, closing his eyes. Almost involuntarily, his hips moved and he thrust himself forwards, fucking his lover’s mouth, making wetness spill out from the corner’s of Levi’s mouth.

“That’s enough.”

Brusquely, one of the interior squad stepped up, grabbed Levi by the hair, and yanked him off Erwin, gasping, wetness spilling down his chin and neck. Erwin’s cock bobbed free, hard and moist, rising to full hardness from the work of Levi’s mouth. His single fist clenched on the floor as he panted, blood sizzling with shame, his ears ringing like a bell from the jeers of the rich men.

“He didn’t even come,” said the petulant noble with the red waistcoat and the unbuttoned collar. “I want Levi to choke on it, the little smart-mouthed shit.”

“We wouldn’t want the Commander to get too tired,” sneered Aurille. “If he comes now, he won’t have strength left for the rest.”

“Pathetic. Is that all the brave Commander Erwin’s got in him? Just once?”

“Figures. A Titan chewed on him and now he’s only half a man.”

Aurille snapped his fingers, his grin widening, titan-like, until it nearly ripped his face in half. “Well, Commander? Continue.”

“Here, wash your filthy mouth out,” said the man holding Levi, forcing a bottle of wine in between his teeth, splashing wet liquid down his face, making him choke and cough. Then the man recoiled with a suddenly bloody nose and mouth. Levi had lurched backwards, slamming the back of his skull into his captor’s face.

“Urgh! You fucking-” In response, he grabbed the back of Levi’s head and slammed his face into the tiles, bruising a shapely cheekbone. “I hope he splits you in half. I hope you bleed!”

“Get on with it. Get _on_ with it,” whined Aurille.

“Let him go,” said Erwin, and glared at the MP until he withdrew, leaving Levi with one last shove, sprawling him across the floor.

“Levi,” Erwin said softly, then ran a hand down his shivering flank. Levi’s skin was prickling with gooseflesh. He was cold, while Erwin felt overheated. Awkwardly with one arm, he gathered Levi close to him, cradling that dark drooping head against his chest. Making shushing noises he’d use on a spooked horse, Erwin urged Levi onto his knees, then with some effort, coaxing him to spread his legs little by little, bowing his head towards the floor so that his ass was on display, cheeks parting to reveal the dusky pink opening. He touched a buttock gently, shuffling himself into position. He had lost some of his erection. When he brought level, his half-hard member touched the inside of Levi’s thigh, making Levi jump and gasp, as if stung. 

“Come on, come on,” urged Aurille. The prostitute in pink yawned dramatically, studying her nails. Her lipstick was smeared. “This should be familiar to you. Give us a show, or we’ll mate him with something larger, something sharp.”

Erwin’s vision had narrowed, his mind going battle-blank. He allowed Levi’s quivery back, his buttocks, his dark bowed head, to fill his vision. _Do what needs to be done, then come back alive_. He brushed one of Levi’s bound hands, taking and hopefully giving a small measure of comfort.

Still, his hand shook when he reached for Levi’s entrance, the most sensitive secret place of his lover’s body, the place where Levi assured him only _Erwin_ had ever been inside. He winced when he ran a thumb over Levi’s pucker. He was virginal-tight, clenched and unwilling. He tried to warm Levi up, gently running his thumb tip over that small opening, stroking his buttocks. He got no sign other than a slight, uncomfortable grunting noise.

Erwin felt his heart sink. If Levi didn’t relax, it would be painful.

Someone from the dais threw a cup of wine at them, the bronze vessel clanking on the tiles.

Not daring to delay any longer, Erwin took himself in his hand – he’d rubbed against the back of Levi’s creamy thighs until he’d been at full hardness again – and gently spat, rubbing the poor lubrication up and down his shaft, hoping that it would be enough and knowing it probably wasn’t.

Levi cried out with a strangled voice when Erwin breached his unwilling body. He hadn’t managed to penetrate deep, and had to withdraw, panting. His next thrust was deeper, more of his cock engulfed by Levi’s sweet, tight heat, and he grated out a groan, while Levi whimpered, quivering. He thrusted shallowly, as gently as he could, trying to work himself in without hurting his lover.

“Erwin… _E-Erwin…_ ” Levi was choking out his name. “P-Please. Just…. Just do it.”

Erwin stilled, a hand steadying Levi’s left hip. He knew what Levi wanted, for him to just bury himself in and get it over with. Rip off the bandage, cauterize the wound, lace the boil. But it would hurt…

“It’s just pain, goddammit,” said Levi, his voice hitching dangerously, a whisper of a sob building in his chest. “I know what pain feels like.”

“Then forgive me,” said Erwin. Grabbing Levi’s less injured shoulder, he snapped his hips forward and buried himself to the hilt in one thrust. Levi arched his back and screamed, full-throated.

Erwin held still for an awful, agonizing moment, his cock throbbing inside Levi, his arm around Levi’s waist as his lover gasped and shuddered with pain. Then, with a broken moan, Levi slumped forward again, until his forehead was almost touching the floor, and tentatively, shakingly, pushed his ass back against Erwin.

Taking it as a sign to continue Erwin pulled out, then thrust back in with a grunt. He was slick with sweat, shaking with exertion. Aurille was right, curse him. The loss of his arm, the abuse he’d suffered for the past two days, the lack of rest…. He couldn’t last long, couldn’t give them a “performance” even if he wanted to.

In a bid to finish the deed, he started thrusting deep into Levi’s body, setting a painful, punishing rhythm. Thick fleshly slaps. Other than the occasional wet gasp, when Erwin went in at a painful angle, Levi was silent, his back muscles writhing with tension. Levi’s body sucked him in as it always did, Erwin’s cock pounding its way home, and he couldn’t help but moan deeply, his back arching over Levi like a protective shield.

Laughter crackled out from the dais. Some of them cheered. Some of them even clapped. Erwin, panting, glared at them all as he thrusted into Levi, searing their faces, the cut and color of their clothes, into his memory.  

He draped himself over Levi’s shoulder, supporting them both with his one arm, though the agony of the strain burned down to his ribs. He did his best to hide Levi’s naked back, buttocks, his genitals, from their vile eyes.

He felt Levi turn his face into the crook of his arm and stilled for a moment, gasping. He felt the scrape of teeth again, and then a wetness.

“Levi?”

With effort, Levi turned his head enough so Erwin could see him in profile. He was weeping. “ _Erwin_ … _ahn…_ ”

“Levi!” Erwin said hoarsely, afraid he’d pushed his lover beyond what he could bear.

“I can’t… this is… _uhng…_ They shouldn’t be seeing this. I never wanted them to see this!”

And he felt his heart thud painfully against his chest, his blood turning bitter with anguish. Levi was right. _This_ … their intimacy, was supposed to be theirs alone. He should be making gentle love to his dark-haired subordinate in his clean spartan quarters. He should have Levi spread out languidly on his bed, moaning in pleasure and not in pain. He should be taking his time, teasing Levi with kisses and gentle nips, he should be playing with rosy nipples and running his tongue down the contours of his muscles.

“Levi,” he breathed, lowering himself so their faces were touching. “Look at me. Please.”

He repeated it twice more, whispering it pleadingly into an ear, before Levi obeyed. His eyes were still wet, his jaw clenched. Erwin groaned as Levi spasmed around him, then pushed forwards and brushed his lips against Levi’s battered cheek. “Kiss me.”

The reaction was fiery. “Like hell I’d let them see that!”

“It’s not for them. Don’t look at them. Look at me. At me.”

Levi made a pained moaning noise that ended on a whimper. More tears rolled down his cheeks. “Kiss me,” Erwin urged again. “It’s just me and you. No one else.”

Levi gasped as Erwin’s cock shifted inside him, rearing slightly backwards and planting a damp, off-center kiss on Erwin’s chin.

Then Erwin nudged him into place and kissed him properly, melting into each other’s mouths, tongue meeting urgently.

_Look at them! Hah, the leaders of the Survey Corps are nothing better than two dogs fucking in the mud!_

_Not so high and mighty now, huh? Always throwing their weight around, undermining us. Rutting bastards._

“Do you remember that waterfall?” he whispered into Levi’s mouth, trying to drown them out. He engulfed him in another intimate, tender kiss. “We saw it last spring, when we went southwest beyond the walls. You loved that place.” Another kiss, and now Levi was moaning but not in pain. “I promised I’d bring you back there, didn’t I?” It was Levi who initiated the next one, surging forward to meet Erwin’s mouth.

Erwin sighed through it and resumed his thrusts, which had become sweeter, more natural. Levi had loosened around him, his body more welcoming, more pliant. A moan escaped his lips, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he felt the heat pool in his lower stomach, his orgasm on the rise.

“ _Oh… Erwin!_ ”

It was that cry that finished him. He snapped his hips forward one last time, burying himself in Levi, and came hard with a deep, agonized groan.

As the room erupted in wine-slurred cheers and mocking applause, Erwin, panting, ran a hand over Levi’s hunched, heaving form, checking for injuries. Gingerly, he reached around to touch Levi’s genitals and found them unhurt but limp. His stomach sank when he realized Levi had no pleasure at all throughout the whole ordeal, being in too much pain and humiliation.  

Slowly, painfully slowly, Erwin pulled out, flinching whenever Levi did. When his softening cock finally slipped out, it brought a stream of semen tinged with blood. With horror but without surprise, he realized that Levi had torn.

“Forgive me,” he whispered again, and slumped backwards to sag on the floor, his lone arm finally giving out under the strain. His vision was blurry, dizzy and a sea of faces swirled around him, whirly-dirly. Through the haze, he saw one of the MP’s silently crying. Another one was vomiting discreetly into a handkerchief, his gun held cockeyed.  

_So… some of them have a conscience after all. Not even the first interior squad is quite as perverse as Minister Aurille._

Raucous laughter and curses washed over them as they both lay exhausted, three unreachable feet between them. He must have blacked out for a moment. Time swam and oozed around him, and then there was someone pulling at him, pushing him to sitting, his legs splaying, the cooling come on his thighs a shameful evidence of what he’d done. He saw Levi being dragged up, knees bruised and wrists nearly purple from the shackles, head lolling to his chest. His eyes… they weren’t angry or sad or even traumatized. They were simply dead.

The nobles were standing up now, one of them sweeping a last bloody mouthful of pomegranate seeds, flicking the juice away, before leaving the dais. The two women were draped over them, squealing as thick hands groped a breast or rump. They were heading towards the inner chamber door, where Levi had first entered. And Levi, to Erwin’s horror, was being led along with them by two MP’s. He saw Aurille laugh and run a hand down the red-stained crack of Levi’s buttocks, Levi not even bothering to flinch.

“Don’t touch him!” the shout tore from him before he could swallow it back. They filed out through the chamber door, rustling the wall hangings as they passed, Levi led along like a wounded pet. “No!”

And then someone stepped up behind him just as he was struggling to stand, and hit him with the butt of a rifle, and all he saw was black.

By the time he woke up, he was back in his dank, freezing cell, his arm chained above him. They’d bothered to redress him in trousers and shirt. He had no idea where Levi was.

“Hey. Erwin. _Erwin_.”

Nile. It was Nile squatting before him, peering into his swollen, devastated face.

“You’ve been granted an audience with the king,” said Nile, but then paused when he saw the expression on Erwin’s face. “What… What happened to you?”

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Next chapter, Erwin's plan for a coup d'etat is finally put into motion. 
> 
> Please feedback and let me know what you think!


	3. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin's coup d'etat is successful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copyright infringement intended!

And then, the gamble had paid off: Aurille’s face a veined plum, cursing as he realized he was in the middle of a coup d’état, Zachary striding in like a righteous judge, Nile unshackling him and the irons sliding off a wrist rubbed magenta-raw, him a free man, the world turned topsy turvy, unbalanced, like taking a running leap off the top of a hill, arms windmilling against the fall.

Nile took to this new, unrecognizable world like an old, experienced farmer would, one who’d plowed and sowed and prayed all year, only to have a summer storm pound his crops to mush: sigh and wipe off his brow, pick up the pieces and start again – no point in tears or rage – and chalk it up to the fickle ways of the world.

Erwin had gambled, and it had paid off, his pockets bursting at the seams with wagered gold, but his insides feeling hollow.

He didn’t see Levi again until later, much later, when he’d ridden out on a rescue mission and instead faced Rod Reiss’s heaving lump of a titan body crashing and burning its way through the forest. And then it was too late to talk of anything but survival and the battles to come.

……

_Days Later_

_….._

“Why do think we’re here? Isn’t this a job for the Military Police?” Connie Springer’s voice reached Erwin over the thuds of horses’ hooves.

“Don’t be an idiot.” Jean Kirstein. Erwin loosened the reins of his horse and flicked a sideways glance at the two young scouts. “The MP’s were trying to kill us only a while ago. Commander doesn’t trust them yet.”

Their formation was tight, a tense bulb of riders heading out to the outskirts of Wall Rose. Erwin was leading the group with Hange at his right, a handful of the former 104th Training Corps with them. Levi was off on his own mission, tracking down Kenny the Ripper.

“… but for the Commander himself to come along… just to make an arrest?” Another snatch of conversation.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Jean’s ears had turned red. “Well… it might be a matter of honor, really…”

Erwin blinked and looked forward again towards the rolling green ahead of them, his skin prickling. He wondered how much they knew, or how much they thought they knew. How many rumors about _that night_ had leaked and oozed out, slime-like, through the barracks. How much of it contained the truth.

“Look! Up ahead!” Hange’s voice broke through the mire of his thoughts.

The silver snake of the river glittered to northwest. On the west bank was an enormous horse-drawn carriage, its bright yellow wheels creaking and sinking into the mud as the driver whipped the horses.

“I see it too,” he replied, and gave the order to advance.

Erwin felt his blood grow hot as they got close enough to see the Aurille family crest, and then boil when he saw the taffeta curtain drawn back to reveal the minister’s own ashen face.

“Flank them!” Hange ordered when Erwin didn’t. He sat frozen in the saddle, his teeth too tightly gritted for words, being carried forward by momentum alone. “Connie, secure the horses! Mikasa, the driver!”

He saw the gold-plated handle of the carriage door turn, the polished green wood crack open to reveal just a glimpse of Aurille… then Erwin was vaulting from his horse and hitting the ground running, hurtling towards the bastard, only vaguely hearing Hange’s _Erwin, wait!_

He didn’t care that the minster’s hands were already up in surrender. Erwin grabbed a handful of brocade waistcoat and yanked him from the plush comfort of the coach. A beautiful woman inside screamed, her layers of lace ruffled like feathers. There were three other men inside, but they were unarmed, cowering civilians. An upturned teapot with a gold handle leaked steaming liquid onto the carpeted floor.

Single-armed, Erwin hurled the sputtering minister over his shoulder, a tumble of chubby limbs and spittle, buttons popping and dropping around his boots like acorns. Aurille hit the ground, bounced once, then rolled. Erwin leapt on him, a knee smushing that heaving, greasy body into the damp ground. Like a man possessed, Erwin drew his fist back and punched Aurille in his sputtering face. Then punched him again. Then again and again and again until blood flecked his face.

There was yank on his arm, his joints screaming as he was pulled back, his fist still punching forwards but no longer connecting. “Erwin! Stop! _You’ll kill him!_ ” Hange screamed in his ear, throwing all her weight into restraining him.

In his prime, he could have broken her hold and flung her a good ten feet. But he was past his prime and she was sturdy. He was pulled back like a wriggling schoolyard bully, Jean Kirstein on his other side, shoving a shoulder back against into his chest, some bone of his poking painfully into Erwin’s stump of a right arm. “Come on, Commander, he’s not worth it!” said Jean, pointing his rifle at Aurille, who was rolling around in the muck, his face nearly purple, twisting with a combination of fury and fear.

“You bastards! Bastards!” the deposed minster choked out. “I’ll… I’ll see you all hanged for this! This is brutality! This violates civil law and all human decency!”

“Civil law? Human decency?” Erwin choked out, his voice barely his own. He saw Aurille’s face raised above him on a dais. He saw Levi’s blank eyes, Levi’s blood on the floor.

“You dare to lay hands on me! I am of noble birth. Assaulting a noble is punishable by-”

“From here, it looks like you tripped and fell,” Mikasa’s cool voice reached them from where she was sitting, perched on the coach-driver’s seat with her blade to the driver’s neck.

“Y-Yeah!” Jean was quick to agree. “You tripped over yourself getting out of that gaudy carriage.”

“Clumsy, really,” said Hange.

Erwin had finally stopped fighting them to get to Aurille, so she eased up on him, releasing his arm, leaving him feeling drained and achy, ashamed, and not at all like the commander of a military division.

A twang of Sasha’s bowstring, and an arrow buried itself in the painted wood of the carriage door, less than an inch below a man’s hand. One of Aurille’s traveling companions. He yelped and flailed backwards.

“Identify yourselves!” Hange called out.  

“Agh! I’m his valet!” squeaked the one who’d almost gotten shot.

“His personal hairdresser!” said another, peeking out.

“His cook!” said a third.

The woman, pale as death underneath her rouge, made a whining sound and started crying. Hange simply raised an eyebrow.

“Eeek! I’m… I’m… He pays me. That’s all! I needed the money! He’s no friend of mine, I swear! In fact, he forced me to come! I didn’t have a choice!”

“So what is it, he forced you or he paid you?” said Hange. Then made a scoffing sound at the ground where Aurille still lay, wriggling like a turtle on its back. “Wow, what a man. You dump your wife and kids back in Sina and escape with your mistress, your servants, and a damned _hairdresser?_ ”

She glared for a moment, like she’d like to lay one on him like Erwin had, but then just sighed and waved wearily. “Sasha… go ahead.”

The girl gulped, then thumped a salute and belted out, “Minister Aurille! You are under arrest for abuse of power, for ordering the murder of Dimo Reeves, and for violating Clause Six of the Charter of Humanity! And… and f-for….” She made a hungry screeching sound and clambered over to the side of the carriage, throwing the back door wide, her arrow pointed like a divining rod. “And for hoarding all this food!”

The rear compartment of the carriage was stuffed with food supplies, luxury items, that none of the scouts could have ever dreamed of affording. Chocolates and spiced oranges and jars of marmalade. Sausages and roast chickens and turkeys and quails. Steaks and shanks of beef wrapped in parchment. Meat pies and sugar pies and dainty little sandwiches, wedges of cheese and bricks of butter wrapped in cool cloth, tins of jellied pork brains and pâté, crabmeat and eel. Cakes stacked like bricks. Bread, loaves of good white bread, better than they ever got in the barracks, piled like kindling.  No wonder they’d been so easy to track, the carriage was so heavy-laden it couldn’t have traveled faster than a snail’s pace.

“Look at all of this!” Sasha was shrieking, nearly foaming at the mouth.

“Dammit, Sasha, focus!” Jean bellowed at her.

“Well, well,” Hange said dryly. “The rest of humanity can starve, I guess, but you’ll eat well.” She sauntered over to the larder and took a peak inside. Then squawked, “Are you _kidding_ me?! There’s a bathroom and a _dressing room_ too?! And a stove?!” She snapped her fingers at the rest of the scouts. “Come on, guys. Let’s wrap this up before I get even more jealous.”

They picked up Aurille and put him in shackles, then planted his rear back into the carriage, which they led back towards the capital, him cursing them aloud before running out of steam, then slumping down in a sullen silence.

“Are you alright?” Hange asked Erwin quietly. He hadn’t spoken a word since they’d pulled him off Aurille. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“Yes,” he managed. “I’m alright.”

He very nearly wobbled when he dismounted at Mitras, unable to find his footing in this new world he created. He watched the carriage dragged further down, its wheels protesting the weight. What happened next to Aurille was out of his hands. The former nobleman would face justice as it pleased Premier Darius Zachary.

A dispatcher caught up to him as he was leaving, with a message from Captain Levi. It simply said, “Kenny the Ripper is dead. I’ll see you later.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please feedback and let me know what you think!


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Erwin finally spend some time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copyright infringement intended!

_I’ll see you later,_ Levi’s message had said, but Erwin wasn’t able to see him – alone and in private – for days later. When he’d returned to Survey Corps HQ after a gaping long carriage ride under a bloody sunset, it was to an empty bed and hard work.

He, and the military that now ruled the kingdom behind the scenes, had the long task of breaking the ground for the seeds of the new world they were growing. They may have deposed a false king and placed his crown on Historia Reiss’ adorable golden head, but the old king was like a grandfather to most – sagging and ineffectual, but a comforting presence nonetheless. The Survey Corps had to turn brazen faces to a populace that were like wheat under a fickle autumn wind, unsure which way to bend. There was petitioning and negotiating and lying and always more planning to be done. There was no rest for the wicked, especially not Erwin, and the first few days ended with him sleeping alone, bones and brain aching, Levi not even in the same town.

But his lover returned on a sunlit afternoon, smelling like sweet hay and the outdoors, and declared that the petition to seize the royal family’s assets and use the money to open a countryside orphanage had been approved. By order of Queen Historia, the Cattle-Farm Goddess. At the end of the meeting, Levi slid his hand off from where it’d been resting on Erwin’s desk, letting his shapely fingers trail off the edge, and said in person this time, “I’ll see you later, Erwin.”

There was a crack of light under his door when he returned to his quarters that night, and Levi was waiting for him. He was lounging at Erwin’s writing desk, polishing one of his knives while he waited, and managed a corner-of-the-lip smile when Erwin entered a little breathlessly, shutting the door quickly behind him.

“You didn’t eat yet?” Erwin greeted, noting the modest meal set out on a nearby table.

“I was waiting for you.”

There were two servings of bread, soup ladled into two mugs, and – because they were officers – a small jar of potted meat.

Levi was uncharacteristically relaxed as they sat down to share a late supper. Usually, even the way he sat was aggressive, all knots and angles. But he was loose-limbed that night, even languid, as he poured tea and wiped each utensil with a napkin before the meal.

“What’s that?” said Levi, when Erwin pushed a small box across the table towards him.

“A present. I had it made for you.”

He watched Levi delicately lick a smidgen of lard off his thumb, then wipe with a handkerchief before opening the box. It was a gentleman’s cravat pin. The gem was a single pearl in a nest of golden feathers. Erwin hid a smile when Levi held it up to the light to admire it. Despite his general coarseness, Levi always liked nice things.

“Wait a minute.” His eyes narrowed into a merchant’s squint. “This isn’t some shitty ceramic. This is real.” He slid his gaze over to Erwin. “Did you get a raise or something?”

And then Erwin did smile. “If I did, it would be the first time in Survey Corps history – no, the first time in our entire military’s history – that a Commander got a raise. But so what? Even if I didn’t, can’t I just get you something nice?”

“Hmm.” Levi sighed and relented. “Well. It _is_ nice. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Levi replaced it in its velvet box and set it aside, grabbing a mug of soup and wrapping his hands around it for warmth. “By the way, I confiscated half a slab of chocolate from Brauss the other day.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“She didn’t seem too torn up about it, so she probably has another stash somewhere. Told me to _enjoy myself._ Cheeky brat.”

“What did you do with it?”

“Threw it out, of course. That shit gives you _cavities_.”

Erwin huffed a laugh. He thought he saw Sasha stuffing her pockets the whole time they were bringing Aurille back to Mitras. Her cloak and cheeks had been lumpy on the return trip, but she’d seemed so pleased with herself he hadn’t said anything. “You know that stuff costs a fortune?”

“It’s still disgusting.”

Levi set his cup down with a click. He looked intently at his hands before speaking. “I… heard you arrested Auriile.”

Erwin felt his face grow tight. “Yes.”

Hooded eyes narrowed further, long lashes sweeping a cheekbone that was still slightly bruised. “I see.” He sipped from his mug. A stress line appeared between his brows. A weighty silence descended, and Erwin was almost willing to let it go on – out of sight out of mind – but there were still things he needed to know.

“That night…” Erwin started and then stopped. He took Levi’s hand for its comforting weight, then stroked gently up the arm. _That night, that night._ “Afterwards. I saw them take you away. Did they…?” _Rape you? Torture you?_ “Did they _touch_ you?”

Erwin himself had been unconscious for the rest of that evening, waking up alone, not knowing whether or not Levi was even alive. It was pure agony, not knowing.

“They tried,” Levi said dryly. “They were too drunk, but they did try. Hah. It was actually funny. Bunch of pissed off limp dicks. I laughed at them. They didn’t like that.”

Erwin brushed a scab on Levi’s knuckles. “Nile told me you escaped.”

“With a little help.”

“From?”

“The same man who brought me in. Kenny Ackerman. He’s dead now.” Levi made to take a sip of tea in that strange way of his, fingers on the rim, then aborted the motion halfway, setting his cup down. He picked up his knife instead, the one he’d been polishing, idly fingering the blade. “You know, for the longest time I thought he was my…” He shook his head, wiping an imaginary smut from his cheek with the back of a wrist. “Anyway, Kenny might have been an asshole but he wasn’t a sick pervert. He found out what his employers were doing. To us. To me. And he came around and helped me escape. Gave me a weapon and a fighting chance.” He glanced at Erwin and added absentmindedly, “I didn’t kill anyone. Just rearranged a few faces.”

Erwin pictured Levi clawing his way out of his capital city cell, then flinging himself onto the first horse he saw, riding slumped half out of the saddle to regroup with the rest of his squad, appearing like a vengeful wraith in the middle of the night, eyes haunted and shining like coins in the dark, clothes torn and smelling of blood and sex. Did the cadets look at him and wonder what happened? Someone must have treated his wounds. Did they know?

“Do you want them dead?” said Erwin, with the quiet weight of someone who had the power to make it happen.

Levi blinked at him from across the table, then gently pulled away from Erwin’s grip. He’d tightened it, actually leaving a faint fingermark on Levi’s wrist. “Want them dead?” Levi repeated hollowly, then shrugged a shoulder. “It doesn’t matter either way to me.”

Erwin felt his eyebrows shoot up and he made a surprised noise.

“Don’t get me wrong,” said Levi. He fingered the tip of his knife. A vein in his arm bulged slightly. “I’m not saying I won’t wring their necks if I ever see their faces again. I’d just rather not see their faces again at all.”

“Killing them would ensure that.”

“But it’s not like it’ll change what happened.”

“So you forgive them? After what they did?” Erwin looked into his uneaten soup. A feathery piece of onion was floating to the top. He closed his eyes and heard raucous drunk laughter, smelled the sickening mix of sweat and wine and cheap perfume, Levi trembling against him, a thread of blood on the tiles. Tears and teeth against his arm.

“I’m not forgiving them. I’m saying I don’t care whether they’re dead, rotting in a cell somewhere, or if they’re holed up in some mansion under luxurious house arrest. So long as they never cross our paths again.”

Erwin stood, unable to sit still anymore. His right arm was jittering with phantom pain and he hid his grimace, walking behind Levi to the window. “That… sounds a lot like forgiveness.”

He watched Levi shrug defensively. “Call it what you want. I just don’t want to think about it anymore. Or talk about it,” he added pointedly.

He could still hear Aurille’s spitty yelling, cursing him to hell: _The blood of slaves runs through your veins! I am nobility!_ Erwin found himself tense, like he was waiting for a punch. His stomach turned with momentary self-disgust.

“Erwin… you and I have been to hell and back,” Levi said, almost forlornly. He looked back at Erwin with a lost-child glimmer in his eyes. “Together, we’ve always managed to survive. Something like this… it won’t break us, will it?”

Erwin exhaled. “No,” he said. “It could never break you.” _Me, on the other hand… maybe I’m already broken. You were the better man, after all._ “Do you forgive _me_ , then?”

Levi didn’t look at him, didn’t speak for a moment. That brief silence hurt more than Erwin thought it would. “Don’t be an idiot,” Levi said finally. “It wasn’t your fault.”

But it was. He was the one who made them go through with it, that sick act. He was the one who’d gotten them arrested in the first place, though indirectly, plotting and scheming and sacrificing to bring himself into power, pissing off the establishment so that a target was painted on all the backs of the Survey Corps members. He was the one who’d allowed their affair to continue, despite the danger they were both in. And most guilty of all, he was the one who brought Levi from the Underground into this world, where the air was cleaner but the dangers were more treacherous.

Erwin came up behind Levi softly, quietly, like trying to catch a fly. He touched the pale curve of Levi’s throat, let his fingers trail into the junction between neck and shoulder. It was an unspoken rule between them that they wouldn’t say it, that it was dangerous to say, but something inside him, dully painful like an organ shifting the wrong way, pushed him to whisper into Levi’s ear, “I do love you, Levi.”

The knife in Levi’s hand flashed. He threw it with a flick of the wrist so fast Erwin didn’t have time to flinch, and buried the blade in a half-eaten loaf of bread. “Then you _are_ an idiot,” he said harshly.

He was. Being in a relationship when either one of them could die at any moment was beyond idiotic. And they knew it. _I keep wondering when you’ll say it,_ Levi had murmured to him in bed, early on in their relationship. _That we shouldn’t keep seeing each other_. Erwin had crushed the smaller man to his chest and whispered back, _Then I’ll just say it, we shouldn’t keep seeing each other,_ then made love to Levi until the birds started singing.  

Despite everything, some vein of masochism made him ask, “Do you… love me?”

Levi reached over and pulled the knife out in a slicing motion, eviscerating the doughy insides, scattering crumbs. He made a disgusted face at the mess, as if he hadn’t been the one to cause it in the first place, then sighed, bone-weary. “I guess I’m an idiot too.”

_So that’s a yes, then._

A tender smile stole across Erwin’s face. And he couldn’t keep from kissing that pale throat, his lips moving up Levi’s pulse, to his jaw, his ear. He turned Levi’s face to his and kissed those lips, those lips that were usually thinned in annoyance so it was always a pleasant surprise how full and plump they actually were. He clasped Levi to him, back against chest, and buried his face in that clean, warm hair.

“Are you in the mood or something?” Levi asked drowsily.

“Are you?” he returned.

He felt Levi inhale softly. “Not really. But I can take care of you, if you want?” He reached up to touch Erwin’s shoulder, tugging at the jacket uniform.

Erwin hugged him tighter, an arm around Levi’s slim but muscular chest. “All I want,” he sighed, “is to hold you tonight. Please.”

Levi took his time in undressing Erwin. Even at their most passionate, he always insisted on folding clothes properly, even the socks. He took the time to baby Erwin now, to wring out a cloth and wash him with warm water, then pat him dry with towels. He massaged the knobs of Erwin’s spine, then Erwin’s left arm and shoulder, which had been stressed and imbalanced from the loss of his right. He set out Erwin’s toothbrush and comb and nail clippers. He poured Erwin’s glass of water, making sure the glass was clean. He took coals from the fire with tongs and put them into a metal pan, and thrust it under the mattress to warm. When Erwin was settled in bed, Levi undressed quickly and efficiently, shirt, shoes, socks, trousers, and after a moment’s consideration, underwear too.

He slid in beside Erwin, naked skin on sheets, and nuzzled close, folding them together. He seemed just a bit rattled, just a little emotional, so Erwin held him close and blew out the lamp, blanketing them both in darkness.

“Tell me about the waterfall again,” whispered Levi, and Erwin smiled into Levi’s bare shoulder. Like a child, Levi was always greedy-grabby for these stories, these imaginary scenarios.

“It was a small waterfall,” Erwin spoke into the dark, his breath huffing against Levi’s forehead. “Small, but so pretty. We saw it beyond the walls, last spring, that little stream where we stopped to rest the horses. I knew you loved that place, even though you didn’t say. It was so quiet. So green. Even the sunlight was green.”

He could feel Levi’s body unclenching itself, melting more into him. He stroked a warm, muscled flank and continued, “One day, when all the titans have been eradicated, we’ll go back there, just the two of us. We’ll go when the sun is hottest, when the water is sparkling, then we can undress and wade in, I’ll kiss you under the spray…”

Levi poked him in the ribs, disrupting the vision. “Like hell I’d let you take me into the water. It could be contaminated. With _germs_.”

Erwin chuckled. “Then we’ll spread our cloaks out on the bank,” he corrected. “And we’ll lie down and look up at the clouds. With no one else there to see, I’ll want to undress you, pull your clothes off piece by piece, then kiss you under the trees. And then…”

“And then.” Levi touched Erwin’s chest with the palm of his hand, right over his heart. He was breathing harder. After a moment, he lifted himself up over Erwin and leaned in for a kiss. It grew heated very quickly, the both of them craving affection. Hands slid up Erwin’s night shirt, then reached down to cup his groin, making him gasp softly.

“I thought you weren’t in the mood,” he panted.

“Changed my mind,” Levi said simply. Clothes he put on Erwin were removed, replaced by lips, kissing their way down, past his tightly hitched abdomen, his hips, his hardening member. “Let me take care of you.”

Erwin groaned into his hand when Levi’s mouth engulfed him. He cupped Levi’s skull as he was kissed and licked, then sucked into wet heat. In the gloom, he could see Levi shifting his weight, one hand supporting himself on the mattress next to Erwin’s hip, one hand reaching backwards to finger himself open. _Oh…_

“Let me do it. Let me.”

He coaxed Levi onto his back so he could kiss that pale neck, those wonderfully sensitive nipples, licking teasing, loving the way Levi moaned. He kissed those sensual lips while he reached between Levi’s legs and touched him there, sliding fingers into his entrance, drawing them in and out as a prelude to fucking, Levi’s head thrown back in ecstasy.

“I want you, Erwin,” Levi whispered, his lips plump from biting. “I want to ride you.”

“Yes…”

He wasn’t able to hold Levi with both arms, but he wrapped his one good arm around Levi’s boyishly slim waist as Levi straddled him, taking his cock in hand, and then gasping, sinking down onto Erwin’s length. They swayed together for a heart-stopping moment, joined at last, and swallowed each other’s cries in kiss after moist kiss. Then Levi, after struggling to adjust for a moment, started to move, fucking himself on Erwin’s cock.

“Nngh… Erwin…”

And Erwin thrust himself upwards into Levi’s sweet heat, panting heavily, biting a shoulder, the side of Levi’s neck, to muffle his deep moans.

It should feel – and sometimes did feel – wrong to have this. To feel so good, so _alive_ , when they were surrounded by so much death. To send men and women, young and at their physical peak, to die with dreams and loves unfulfilled, while he was still alive and able to make love to Levi.

When he’d first voiced these feelings, his lover had stared bemusedly at him for a moment before snarking, “We live in mixed quarters amongst teenaged cadets with more hormones than brains. Do you really think we’re the only ones screwing around in these barracks?” Then, angry-defensive, “I don’t feel guilty at all being with you. If you feel sick about it, then sleep alone.”

Levi reared over him, beautiful as always, and Erwin thrust hard, almost brutally upwards, eliciting a keen from the smaller man. “E-Erwin, I’m close. I’m gonna…”

“Together,” he urged, then grabbed Levi’s hips and thrust hard into that hot body, smashing their mouths together, and they both came, swallowing each other up, grunting deep, almost violent with each other. And then, as the waves of pleasure slowly subsided, Erwin cradled Levi in the crook of his arm, riding out the orgasm together, kissing his hair, his lips, his ear, until they collapsed onto the sweaty sheets.

And then it was his turn to baby Levi, getting up for towels, water, fresh blankets. Levi hissed when Erwin cleaned him between the legs.

“It’s cold,” he said, flinching back from the soaked towel as Erwin gently wiped him down.

“I could call for more hot water,” offered Erwin, his words an unspoken question. It was another loaded statement. Calling for hot water meant putting on a dressing gown and going out into the hall. It meant flagging someone down, someone who would see the Commander flushed and disheveled. Someone who’d already heard the whispered and not-so-whispered rumors about them. Maybe that chocolate-haired girl fresh out of training, who would salute and snap to, but then hide a giggle as she went to fetch the water. Maybe a leathery corporal with haunted eyes, who’d seen too many of his friends die under Erwin’s command, who’d bring the water with a sneer and a muttered, under-the-breath curse.

“Hot water, huh?” said Levi, considering. And Erwin was seized with a brief, reckless desire to fling open the door and call for hot water, for extra sheets, for another cot and another easy chair and another set of grooming utensils, towels enough for two. Let them all know.

But it was a spark that died quickly. Levi was already shaking his head. “Nah. I’m alright.” They washed with cold water and Erwin threw another log on the hearth.

Levi poured some more tea and sipped it in front of the fire, swaddled in blankets. Erwin sat at his writing desk and pretended to read a letter, watching him through half-lidded eyes, thinking, _I want to protect you and hold you dear. But I couldn’t, and I still can’t. Because we don’t belong to each other, not really. Well, I couldn’t protect you, but at least I…_

His mind wandered…

_Days ago_

“It’s so beautiful, I think I might cry.” And Darius Zachary was crying, not the manly deep-throated sobs you’d expect to hear from someone as solid as him, but a high, spoiled-child whimpering. He was giggling through his tears, his cheeks actually _rosy_ , like he’d been out sledding.

“You bastard!” sputtered the man who was once the distinguished Minister Aurille. The pale spongy flesh of his thighs flopped against the moon of his belly as he shook with fear and rage. “Bastard! You’ll… you’ll pay for this! You’ll pay tenfold!”   

Zachary laughed wetly. “In fact, it may be the greatest work of art every conceived.”

“The blood of slaves runs through your veins! I am nobility!”

Erwin watched with cold eyes as Zachary handled the… _contraption_ with the ease of many years of loving practice. He neither flinched nor smiled as Aurille gurgled painfully under the iron device, his stockinged feet making helpless little kicks. He simply watched. And watched.

“Help me!” cried Aurille, when he noticed Erwin, standing military-straight in the doorway. “Arrest him immediately! Please! He’s insane! Help me!” Then starting to weep angrily, “Why are you just standing there?! You useless soldier, can’t you see I’m…?”

Zachary shut him up with a fleshy punch. “You idiot!” he cackled. “You won’t be getting anything from that one. Open your eyes and look! Who do you think you’re talking to?”

And Aurille’s eyes widened, almost comically, the pupils shrinking to beads, when he recognized the hollow uniform sleeve, the still bruise-mottled face. “Smith-!”

Whatever he was about to say next was cut off by the metal muzzle tube over his mouth, as Zachary clamped it in place gleefully. “Oh! I think I hear a bowel movement,” he giggled, punching the heaving stomach again, more of a smack than an actual blow, casual, like he was just teasing. He stroked Aurille’s hair almost lovingly. “You know, Commander Erwin, I think this one is truly my favorite. My beloved. Do you know why?”

He smirked when met with Erwin’s silence. “Because,” he whispered gleefully, “I recognize a kindred spirit when I see one. This one… well, he’s not an artist of my caliber, of course. But he does have the same… _creative outlets._ ”

Erwin lowered his eyes and let Zachary’s words wash over him.

“I’ve heard that you’ve personally experienced some of his work. His _art_ , if you can call it that. You and that captain of yours. Tell me, Erwin, is there any truth to the rumors?” He reached up and twisted some screw, tightening something, making Aurille squeal like a pig. “You don’t have to answer, of course. Sorry for being insensitive. I’m just curious. And anyway, I can just _extract_ the full story from him…”

“How many of these _chairs_ do you have?” Erwin interrupted suddenly. He was staring hard at Aurille’s clothes, which were folded neatly on a nearby ottoman. On top of the pile was a brocade waistcoat.

“Well, this is the latest and most beautiful model but I do have others, prototypes mostly. Art is perfected through trial and error, and I’ve spent many years on my work. Why? Are you interested?”

“Not really,” said Erwin. “I was just thinking logistically.”

“Oh?”

“Many other members of the royal government and nobility were arrested during the coup. Some will be released. But some of them worked closely with Auriile, and deserve the same… judgement. I can take you to the holding cells and identify them for you. I remember their faces very well.” Faces that had leered lustfully down at him. Mouths that had laughed drunkenly.

Aurille’s waistcoat had a tear near the neck, where Erwin had torn it in their scuffle earlier that day. All of the buttons had popped off, except for one that was dangling by a thread. It was fancy, a pearl surrounded by golden feathers.

“Yes,” said Zachary. He looked hungry, monstrous. “ _Yes_. That would be good. Very good.” He gave Aurille one last pat on the cheek. The noble was gargling now, struggling in earnest, blobs of flesh wobbling like pudding, liquid leaking out the sides of his mouth. “You know what I think? Art is not complete without an audience. I think he needs to be taken out like this and paraded in front of the people he used to tyrannize. Isn’t that a good idea?”

And Erwin felt his frozen lips curl into a small, cruel smile. “Well, it’s not up to me, but I think that’s an excellent idea.”

…

…

“Hey. Erwin. _Erwin_.”

Someone was shaking him awake. He must have fallen asleep watching Levi by the fire.

“Erwin, wake up.”

His eyes fluttered open to dying embers and Levi’s hand on his knee, looking up at him. He was slumped over the table.

“You’re falling asleep. Get into bed. You’ll hurt yourself this way.”

He’d woken up with Aurille’s pleas for help still ringing in his ears. He’d fallen asleep to the memory, like a kid with a bedtime story.

Instead of getting into bed, he knelt down by the fire next to Levi. Some of the blankets had shifted, revealing a warm, bare leg. He touched that reverently, running his hand up that toned calf, bending down to kiss Levi’s ankle. When there was no protest, he kissed his way up the calf, the crook of the knee, and then the ticklish inner thigh.

Levi gasped softly, squirming. “Didn’t we just do it? Pervert.”

“Seems I just can’t,” _kiss, nibble_ , “help myself.”

As Levi threw his head back languidly, moaning a little, Erwin’s mind went back to Zachary and Aurille, the sounds of torture and the smell of shit. He poked at the memory, like he was checking a wound to see if it was sore, and found no guilt at all, no shame. He wondered what kind of man that made him. He wondered if his father would have been proud to have such a son.

But he was here now, and Levi was warm underneath him, musky and sweet-smelling.

“I’m not a good man, Levi,” he murmured against Levi’s knee.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not… noble. I’m actually quite a scoundrel.”

“That’s stupid. And naïve. Do you think _I’m_ a good man?”

“Better than me.” _You forgave them. I couldn’t_.

“No one comes out of this smelling like roses. The Survey Corps has always had to do dirty work.” Levi pulled Erwin on top of him, encircling his waist with slim, strong legs. “And you’re good to me, Erwin Smith. That’s the damned truth. You’re good to me.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and staying with this nasty little story! As always, I'd love to hear your feedback!


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